Emptiness sets in faster than we are capable of moving,
Perhaps a warning sign that our separation is not natural,
I know the heat that bound our bodies together,
Remains tangled beneath your silky sheets,
Awaiting our return,
Far more patiently than I,
For I am plagued by memories,
Crippled by my desire to rest my head on your chest,
Or support yours with mine,
As I create a fantasy life in my mind,
Hoping it will slowly unravel
The demands of our lives and unfortunate circumstance force us apart,
Still I wish I could move my responsibilities closer to yours,
Or mute duty altogether.
I ache to fill the cracks of your life with my youthful charm,
Despite the side effect:
Burdening you with my hopelessly romantic naivety.
I’m hanging on to each moment I’ve spent getting lost in your eyes,
Exploring the subtle lines on your face,
Clear when you smile,
I made you smile…
Soon I know you’ll realize what I am doing,
That I am falling for you,
And hoping you will fall for me too,
The way you have fallen in the past.
But you’ll leave me behind,
It’s not right for me to expect you to love me,
It’s not right for me to fall into this trap again.
When we separate,
I wish I could forget you,
I wish I could erase your scent and kisses from my memory,
And when you fail to reciprocate intensity,
I wonder if it was right I met you,
If it’d be okay to hesitantly regret you,
Despite feeling like you are everything I could ever want.
I am so human.
And I am hoping you won’t run away.
And I am hoping someday to hear that you love me.
And I am hoping someday when that doesn’t happen,
That I can move on,
And I can be strong,
And I can learn from whatever will be, forever, the biggest mistake of my sweet, short, life.