Blame

I could not feel more indifferent.
I’m walking around and I feel like I’m just drenched in lukewarm water. It’s so uncomfortable that I can’t feel anything else.
I don’t feel like speaking or eating. My words make no sense and my tongue tastes no flavor.
I can’t form a full thought. I’m grabbing bits and pieces of feelings and ideas from the back of my mind and exploring them all at once.
I feel like I’m trying when I’m not. I think I convinced myself that I am someone else.
I’m not sure what that means.
Just haven’t been myself I guess.
If you’re asking, I am fine.
So please stop.
I can’t bear to repeat those words one more time.
It doesn’t mean I am lying.  Just means I don’t care.
Sometimes I sleep.
Most times I don’t.
I want to live in my dreams. It just seems so unfair.
I used to want so much and care so much it hurt.
I’m not sure how I got here.
But I think it has something
To do
With you.

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