Sometimes

(c.2010)

Sometimes I spend hours searching for the right words, and as soon as they slip through my lips, I realize they were all wrong.

Sometimes I get all dressed up, and look at myself in the mirror, and feel like a living, breathing, lie.

Sometimes I think about each step I take, I think about being graceful, being eloquent, and immediately my attention is diverted as I stumble over the pavement under my feet.

Sometimes when I have a deadline I struggle to convince myself the effort is even worth my time.

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I think about how great the day could potentially be, but allow my negative thoughts to spiral and drag me down.

Sometimes I give myself fully to other people in hopes that they will love me far more than I love myself.

Sometimes I wish that I could go back down the streets of adolescence and make a right turn at every corner I veered left.

Sometimes I think that nothing in the world can make me smile more than imagining I’m living someone else’s life.

Sometimes I let the words of others get the best of me, even when I know they’re untrue, I feel betrayed and want to crawl away.

Sometimes I see so much beauty in the world that I want to live every day trying new things and making the best out of what I’ve got.

Sometimes the kind smile of a stranger accompanied with compassionate wisdom keeps my head held high through the day.

Sometimes I want to recklessly run away, leave everything behind, and see the beauty of the world through truly free eyes.

Always,

I am human.

I am perfectly flawed.

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